Consider this discussion from a Lipman novel:

Harry and Suki were walking back from school. Harry was not happy, or so Suki thought. They had walked for some time, and Harry had not replied to anything Suki had said. He walked slightly ahead of Suki, and every time she caught up with him, he once more walked ahead.

"What's wrong, Harry?"

"Nothing," said Harry."Why do you ask? What makes you think there is something wrong?"

"Well, for one thing, you haven't said anything since we left school. For that matter, I haven't seen you say anything all day. You've just grunted."

"But what makes you think there is something wrong? Do I have to talk, or something?"

"And you won't walk next to me, like people normally do. And you're kind of stooped

over, like you're sad, or in pain."

"Do you mean that you can tell from these things you can see about me that you

can know something about what I feel inside? How come? I mean, what makes you think that these things that you see me doing or not doing tell you something about the part of me that you can't see - what I feel or don't feel? Huh?"

Suki was quiet, somewhat surprised. "Well, I guess your outside is saying something to me, and I kind of see what it is saying. Just like with my dog.

And my dad. I know when they are sad."

"Well, I'm not. OK? What makes you think you know your dog is sad? Because it hasn't

said anything to you?"

Harry walked ahead.

From a student Internet discussion on this passage:

Sometimes people can't hide their feelings and it all comes out. I think that people's expressions give away clues about their thoughts and feelings, but not always.

I think that the way that people act can show their feelings

Sometimes people make their body language more obvious when they *want* people to know their feelings.

I agree. If you are happy, you could just have a smile on your face, or you could leap for joy. It is clear that if you leap around, you are being more obvious.

But sometimes it can be hard to tell *how* sad a person is. They might be really sad, but they might only show it as much as someone who is a little bit sad. Sometimes people are just pretending to have a certain feeling to get a reaction from other people.

If people are *overly* in any type of feeling, for example being really happy and bright and cheerful all the time, it tends to be less significant.

Why do people usually want you to know they are happy?

Why do people have *happy* and *sad* ?

Some people show their emotions more strongly than others.

Some people like it if you know they're sad.

Why would people want others to know that they're sad? a bit weird........

Sometimes I think it makes people feel better to know that others UNDERSTAND their sadness. Sometimes you just need to share it with others.

I think that of you keep an emotion to yourself, you might make yourself feel worse than the situation really is. It is often much better to tell people about your feelings.

Sometimes people don't *really* want to listen to you but they do because they feel sorry for you. 

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Teacher Training in Values Education: A Workshop © 1975 Guidance Associates

PROCESS

Read the story and identify the issues facing Sharon.

How should she act to resolve the issue?

How would you act in this situation?

Considerations/Issues

• Accurately describe Sharon's dilemma.
• Can she live by the rule: "Never dob in a friend"?
• Would that be a correct moral absolute to adopt?
• Should Sharon endure punishment with Jill for the sake of friendship?
• Were the store detective and shop assistant acting correctly as judge and jury on the footpath anyway?
• What incorrect assumptions did they make? (all kids are thieves)
• What incorrect implication did they make?
• Could she compromise in any cooperation she offered to obtain a win-win for herself?
• Should Sharon trust in the process of law and the good will of her accusers?
• Should she regret not stopping Jill?
• If she reported Jill, would that help cure her shop-lifting?
• Was Sharon a good judge of Jill as a friend anyway?
• Define a friend: one who serves you or one who sticks by you right or wrong?
• Whose approval do you most seek in these moral dilemmas: parents, peers or self?

© G. Smith 1997

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