homesickness

Essay Starter on

Homesickness in "Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant."

By Dianne Howard

Although Jenny escaped Pearl's dominance and aggression by leaving to attend college, she then decided later in life to set practice in Baltimore. "She could have accepted more lucrative offers in Philadelphia or Newark, she chose Baltimore instead." (p. 212) Does this mean therefore that the bond between mother and child is so strong that any damage caused to this bonding can be rectified? I felt an immense sense of relief for Jenny when she escaped Pearl's dominance and then disappointment when she returned to Baltimore.

- Homesickness is a very strong emotion and obviously Jenny, in times of need, such as her emotional breakdown, needed to return to that atmosphere. The memories of her mother's unpredictable outbursts and authoritarian rule.

- This appears to be a contradiction of Jenny's strong self-contained character. Perhaps she sought in later life a relationship with Pearl which had been denied her in childhood.

- While Jenny felt merely comfortable returning to Baltimore, we see the next generation of Tull, specifically Cody's son, Luke, desperate to flee to the sanctuary of Pearl's home in times of emotional turmoil. Luke's description of "Relatives would surround him - a loving Grandma, funny Aunty Jenny" (p. 228) hardly seemed an apt description of the Tull household we viewed in earlier passages in the novel.

- Luke picked up an aspect of homesickness which I remember vividly as a child, that of familiar smells. On arriving at his grandmother's house after running away from home . . . .

SAMPLE ESSAY

'He'd been left unforgiven. . . but forever burdened." (p.120)
The Tulls never seem to learn to forgive and so never jettison their emotional baggage. Discuss.
_____________________________

Forgiveness requires love and understanding. It requires an ability to be open and honest with another human being, or with yourself. None of these qualities is evident in any of the characters in Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant. The Tulls are a family who can never express positive emotions like love and understanding. The emotions they express are negative - anger, guilt, rejection, resigned acceptance. None of these feelings can help a person to forgive, to cope with their emotional baggage.

Pearl Tull lives her life by needing to be in total control of any situation. She ruins family dinners constantly because she cannot control the events taking place. She never forgives Beck for leaving her and the children but, at best, totally ignores the fact that he has gone. Her security comes, not from within, but from what others think of her. Pearl uses denial of life's facts to defend herself against a world she chooses not to accept. Her total inflexibility is demonstrated by her disapproval of Ezra being a restaurateur. "She always thought he would go to college," she muses; and elsewhere: "He never lived up to his potential," she confides to Jenny. Even when Ezra tells her: "I am worried I can't seem to get in touch with people," a plaintive cry for understanding, she ignores him. A further example of her lack of insight and understanding is exhibited by remarking to Cody: "You've been mean since the day you were born." But Cody's meanness is a reaction to the extreme jealousy of Ezra, his brother, and Pearl does nothing to understand why Cody should be so jealous of Ezra.

Cody Tull is the most unforgiving character in Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant. He is totally unforgiving of his mother regarding her inability to cope with bringing up three children on her own. "She was a witch, a screaming witch," he tells Beck years later. It is a remark aimed at Beck also to let him know that he, Cody, never forgave his father "for leaving us with her." He tells Beck he wasn't altogether sure his mother wasn't mad sometimes. Cody never forgives Ezra either, for being his mother's favourite child. He spends a lifetime demonstrating revenge on Ezra. He takes Ruth from Ezra, the only woman Ezra has ever (or ever will be) involved with. There is no mention of Cody being able to have a normal, happy relationship with anyone until the end of the book when he hopes to have a better relationship with his son Luke in the future. At this stage, he is a middle-aged man who has spent a lifetime being unable to love anyone, unable to ever forgive anyone for the wrongs he believes they have done him.

So Ezra Tull has been "left unforgiven. . . forever burdened." The bow and arrow incident had been his fault entirely, but his mother blames Cody. She would never blame Ezra, her favourite. This leaves Ezra with a lifetime burden of guilt he is never able to come to terms with. As a result, he spends his creative life in resigned acceptance of everything that happens to him. He loses Ruth the only woman he loves to his brother and does absolutely nothing about it. He never marries and lives with his mother caring for her until she dies. In his own way he is equally unable to form satisfactory relationships with anyone except Mrs. Scarlatti ( and he disappoints her too). He spends his life emoting through food, "food made with love." Life seems to be uninspired, uninteresting and one wonders whether he has deliberately chosen his life to make up for guilt he has been carrying since his childhood and the bow and arrow incident.

All these characters in varying ways are unable to lead happy, fulfilling lives because they cannot jettison their emotional baggage.

Carol T. 1992
__________________

Teacher comment: Guilt is not the only item of emotional baggage they share. Regret, anger, homesickness, a feeling of apartness are all there too. This essay does try to take up the issue of the topic set, has structure and a view to express. It is a little light-on with incidents and scenes although the direct quotations help enormously. It is well done for exam. room conditions.

Return to Anne Tyler page

"Unforgiven . . a burden" Worksheet 8 for DINNER AT THE HOMESICK RESTAURANT

In your groups, discuss one or two of the following topics and record your discussion. This exercise is meant to familiarise yourselves with the book in detail.

1. "You think we're a family," Cody said, "when we're in particles, torn apart, torn all over the place?" (page 294) Is Cody right about the Tull family?

2. Jenny exclaimed: "We made it didn't we? We did grow up. Why, the three of us turned out fine." To what extent do you agree with her?

3. "It's the closeness that does you in."(300) says Beck to Cody.
Is it possible to be too close? Why do the Tulls fear such intimacy?

4. "Outsiders would go on believing the Tulls were a happy family. Which they were in fact." (11) Give your assessment of Pearl's belief here.

5. "She sensed a kind of trademark flaw in each of their lives." (22, 125,171)
How perceptive is Pearl here? What did she refuse to see in them?

6. "He'd been left unforgiven - not relieved . . . but forever burdened." (120)
Was it a failure or an inability to forgive that hampered the Tulls? Or was it something else?

7. "If you don't go on and get married, you'll be destroyed by love." (96)
What terrible mistakes are assumed here?
Return to Anne Tyler Page