Sample student editorial 667 words

Success Comes To Those Who Persist

 

People always seem to love to hear about success stories and what others have achieved. The recent case of Julian O'Neill shows how brittle everyone is when it comes to success. Today it's all too familiar: because success is to hard to find, many just give up. Australia's increasing unemployment and youth suicide rate must tell us that the younger generation has lost the will to fight. Apparently, it has never learned the key to success. They need to hear that the key is persistence: if you persist for long enough you will succeed, for success comes to those who persist.

 

The courage to persist in the face of disappointment and temporary failure is the one quality more than anything else that will guarantee success. Only one man's courage to persist had the power to free the South African indigenous people from the chains of racial oppression. This one man is one of the greatest moral and political leaders of our time, Nelson Mandela. His lifelong dedication to the fight against racial separation in South Africa won him the Nobel Peace Prize and the presidency of his country.

 

However, Nelson did not have success fall at his feet. He had to overcome huge obstacles to achieve what he did. He toiled, endured and countered those obstacles and focused only on his goals. Not even a twenty-five years' imprisonment could deter Nelson from persisting in his goals. Because of his great persistence, he achieved his outstanding success.

 

This success did not come to Nelson and other high achievers like him by chance. It came because they were willing to endure the costs of success. They sacrificed, struggled and tirelessly pursued their goals no matter what the consequences. Nelson was not willing to stand by and do nothing in the face of setback, but he got up and made a difference.

 

Yet it's a sad fact that many today are not willing to pay this price for success. Some few are quite content to collect dole payments and welfare cheques. People who do nothing when they fairly should, end up growing no further. It is time to instill into the minds of our children this concept of persistence; they need to see that persistence wins success. With more of this quality, it is likely our unemployment and youth suicide rate would decrease, and inevitably we would become happier individuals and in turn richer as a nation.

 

One aspect that holds people back from success is their fear of failure. They fear that if they fail, they will be disappointed and even humiliated, so they don't bother trying. Certainly the road to success will offer failure. Yet success may be just around the corner on the next bend in the road. You will never know how close it is unless you turn that corner.

 

One man who knew about failure and success was Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest presidents of the United States. Along the way to success, he failed so many times and suffered many set backs. But he got back up and kept moving forward. It is a great example of how persistence leads to success, that if you do not give up, you will win. Only if you quit, do you fail.

 

Certainly, it's time we followed the role of Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln and many other high achievers. For they found the key to success. It is the key that enables us to be prepared to pay the price of success. Inspired by the Aussie battler, our young people could well take up this realistic attitude to success so they will persist in the face of adversity and failure no matter what happens. Only through persistence we will achieve success as a nation and as individuals.

 

by Andy 28/2/1999

this page: http://home.pacific.net.au/~greg.hub/success.html

Clear focus on the headline topic.

Short structured paragraphs further the argument. Persuasion not description.

Steady insistent rhythm, measured pace. Rounded off reinforcing the main point..

Appropriate language. Compact, controlled piece.

EDITORIAL STYLE

Writing advice:

• Change abstractions into living examples
• highlight emotional hooks - a warm positive tone is essential
• soften criticism; never divide your readership
• speak as the voice of the whole community
• tie the editorial to a news item or current issue of public concern
• show a local flavour; local loyalties and interests relate to readers
• beware legal challenges over reputations
• avoid a preachy tone and rhetorical flourishes
• convert statistics into factions
• simplify grammar and vocabulary
• clarify your point of view before beginning; choose a Headline.
• prize your authority, credibility
• simplify expressions; talk plainly.
• use the colon and semicolon to infer.
• always be grammatically correct.
• focus on three points only
• use only short (three sentence) paragraphs.
• use only short sentences
• avoid lists; avoid "First, second, ... " etc.
• avoid need to cross reference: not "as was said above." name it again.
• avoid dialogue. it is not a novel.
• avoid "I you me" pronouns; use a plural voice = the community

(The editorial is the voice of the company, not of an individual.)

recapitulate.

 

Recast this wordy sentence: "The secret seemed to be that parents who were hard but predictable and so consistent with their children knew exactly what the rules wre and how to stay out of trouble." Simplify saying:

"Children of predictable parents knew what the rules were to stay out of trouble."

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